However, when you come down to it, how much of an argument is really worth getting worked up about? Most of the time, arguments are about trivial things that really don’t matter in the long run. In addition, arguments between family members can be especially harmful to relationships because they threaten to undermine familial ties. (For example, you might find it difficult to trust your brother ever again if you discover that he stole your car.) By the same token, if you simply shrug off every argument as unimportant, you won’t be able to resolve conflicts when they actually do matter. If your family members feel that you don’t care about their opinions or feelings, you’ll never be able to resolve
Arguments within the family are very common, so we have compiled a few tips to help you deal with them in the most healthy way possible.
Don’t let controversy drive you apart (Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Jessica Robles, senior lecturer in social psychology, Loughborough University:
Unlike the British royal family, most of us don’t have the option of moving to another country if we disagree.
But most of us have probably had disagreements with people close to us at one time or another.
Conversations are used to get things done, to start and end an action, whether it’s a service, an invitation for coffee, or solace on a bad day. Our unique complex communication system has evolved to help us meet the challenges of the social world.
Arguments are part of this complex system. They can be inevitable, necessary and even productive. But they can also be difficult.
It can be difficult to know what to do when tensions run high and harsh words are spoken, especially when a loved one is involved. However, studying the course of arguments – and conversations in general – gives some ideas about the best way to deal with them.
What is a dispute?
There are many words for disagreement and many academic theories that describe what disagreement is and why disagreement occurs. But arguments are not abstract models. They live, breathe, sweat and talk (and sometimes shout) about them.
Research on the conduct of conflicts shows that they are characterized by three types of features. First, there are the vocal characteristics, which consist of speaking at a higher pitch, louder and faster. Then there are embodied traits, such as aggressive gestures and avoidant attitudes, such as turning away from someone. Finally, there are interactive features, such as. B. talking to each other, listening back, or metatalk – commenting on the conversation while it is going on.
Expressions of emotion such as frustration or anger are also common. The participants can accuse each other of emotions or name their own emotions.
Disputes arise for a variety of reasons. Individuals’ actions can range from complaints and accusations to demands, threats or resistance.
This can be about anything from family obligations, to what to cook for dinner, to politics, to holiday planning. Fortunately, arguments have common ground with each other and with conversations in general – so you don’t have to invent new strategies every time you have a conversation.
Accessories and alignment
If you have an argument with a friend or family member, there are ways to make them feel like you’re still on their side, even if you don’t agree with them. If you remember these rules and apply them at the right time, you can prevent your argument from escalating into something more intractable.
The first is kinship, which is supporting another person or their point of view on things.
Ownership is about phrasing your words in a way that is understandable and easier to respond to. For example, to say: You’ve been to France before, haven’t you?
It can also be about categorization, which is how we talk about others or treat them as certain types or members of a group. For example, if you reduce someone else to a stereotype by labeling them – by saying something like: Girls always say that or Ok, Boomer – you risk a reaction to the insult and not the action in which the insult was embedded.
The second thing we expect from any conversation is alignment – cooperation with the direction of the conversation, for example. B. accept or reject the application. The opposite phenomenon, inadequacy, can occur when a requirement is ignored.
Alignment has more to do with the flow of the conversation, how the argument unfolds over time. By asking for clarification – a practice known as recovery – or naming a misunderstanding, problems can be treated as correctable mistakes rather than moral failings or attacks. Humor can reduce the escalation of conflict.
Read more: Family
How to have a healthy argument
During an argument, consider when to use these tactics. They are more likely to achieve better results early in the procedure. As the conflict escalates, your reactions can be seen through the prism of the feud and resentment you already held towards each other. In this case, may be teasing. B. look like contempt, and claims of misunderstanding may look like unfair mockery.
It can feel like discussions take on a life of their own – like the conversation is using us instead of us using it – and that’s partly because the conversation can somehow drag us down (think of the difficulty of turning down an invitation). We bring our personalities into conversations to make it seem like the arguments threaten us and what we morally stand for.
This can be more pronounced in the family, whose opinion of us is often more important than, say. B. those of friends or colleagues. It’s always worth taking a moment to consider what the argument is really about, whether what you’re saying is consistent with your goals, and whether it’s worth taking a stand.
Click here to read the original article on The Conversation.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How do you handle family arguments?
We all know that arguments in family are normal and, at times, inevitable. Whether it’s your siblings, your parents or your spouse, every family has its share of disagreements. Depending on the circumstances and the people involved, these arguments may be minor, or they may be so bad that they hurt the family as a whole. So, how do you handle family arguments? I often get asked how to handle family arguments. My first question is: “When did your last fight happen and what was it about?” It is important to establish the context for any family fight in order to have a proper strategy for making it stop. For example, if you are dealing with a drunken family member, then you need to be prepared to call the police and not get involved in a physical fight. Similarly, you have to think about your own safety and not fight with someone who has a weapon. You have to think about some of the causes of family fights, including alcohol or drug addictions, money troubles and mental health issues.
What do you usually do if you have a disagreement with any of your family members or your friends?
There are many ways to handle family fights. The key is to use a strategy that works for you. Start by thinking about whether you want to handle the situation right away or later. If it’s a big problem, then it’s better to set aside time to talk when you’re both in a better mood. If it’s something minor, then you can just bring up the issue casually in conversation. It’s also a good idea to talk about what caused the problem in the first place—this will help you avoid it in the future. In the end, the most important thing is to remember that your family cares about you. No matter what happened or what was said, family members love It is not that uncommon for family members or your friends to have disagreements from time to time. Perhaps you want to watch a movie that your friend does not like, or you just want to share your thoughts on a controversial topic with your family members. Regardless of the situation, it is important to know how to deal with disagreements in a calm and respectful manner. Blog Post Body:
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